I've never really posted about my travels in India but right now while viewing another program about this amazing country I realise some thing special. When I see it available I will watch a program about a celebraty trying to capture India on film but I know from my own experiance that they will never capture the true India becasue every person who has ever been that way will know that the best parts of India are those they experianced when they didn't have their cameras at hand. For those who took tour guides and have always wondered if what they saw was real, go backpacking and forget your camera.
Every thing wrong about India is the same about every thing right about India but for those who understand this isn't that how the universe works? To understand we must take a quick exit from India and eneter China where a more understandable (to the west) view exists, China where we can learn about Yin Yang, the perfect balance between positive and negative, heaven and hell, right and wrong. This same philospohy exists in India but within their gods, within their religion. In the west we are mostly tought that one god is true but when you consider by the laws of physics that the whole of the infinite universe is made up of enegry that is made of two poles, positive (+) and negative (-) you will understand that these people understand life better as a whole and more true to science than most of us "intelectuals" in the west.
So until you've experianced India for yourself, until you've felt India for yourself, how can I possibly begin to tell you what is was like?
I have decided to go on a detox for a month. That'll be no drugs legal, illegal or clubbing through out November. I'm doing it as a sought of experiment to see how it effects my mind and to see if it makes me any happier.
To celebrate the start of my detox I am going to get mashed this weekend, ecstasy, ketamine, alcohol, nicotine, cocaine, cannabis and what ever else I can get my hands on.
I know my blogging hasn't been all that great recently but I will try at least once a week through my detox to try and keep a record of how I feel.
Hearing you speak my name Beckoning me to answer Telling me you want me So I tell you that you're the answer to every question I've ever had about love
Without words I use my tongue to tell the tale of us Tracing your shadowscape Kneeling before you my eyes feast upon your masculinity and All its divinity and I praise you Because all of that is for me
I begin to indulge myself of your delicacies Digesting semi-sweet dark chocolate decadence as it melts Dripping down my chin Your taste is something that I ever couldn't re-create
Needing every atom of your anatomy Necessity is placed upon me knowing you are the source of my serendipity Dipping in and out of me stroking more than my consciesness Subconsciously I find myself rewinding our love scenes In my daydreams Seeing that face you make when you're making me cum And it makes me want you right there and then
Thinking of you in inappropriate places I get Tingling sensations in private locations where I wish to be caught between a rock and your hard place
As wetness develops my legs begin to open and my spot turns to a backdraft and all I want you to do is extinguish it You know my body like the back of your hands And touch me and send me into ecstacy
My thighs quiver in anticipation of deep penetration which gets me high Body rising Sweating Panting Make-up melting Pulling my hair and Scratching my back I get a temporary case of tourettes because all I can say are four letter words in a four octave-range screaming your name
[Spanish]
You fucking me makes me bilingual
I see your tongue pink between your lips and I want it between mine And I struggle As you lick torturing me I try to get away but Not really
Running out of room begging for more up against the wall that has been scuffed by my stilletos Again You pry apart my thighs and tell me to be still And I willingly submit to you because I love the way you dominate me Demanding that I cum for you so I do as I'm told
You've molded me so I'm good to no-one else but you You've conquered this once orgasmicless world and multiplied it Again and Again
My face radiates with after-glow My pillow scented by you A fragrance which haunts me My room smells of the best sex I Covered in body prints and finger prints and you above me Your name written indelibly upon my body in your genetic history
This isn't a tech blog but I thought I would add my two pence anyway.
I have recently started using Googles new Chrome browser and so far I like it. I initially found a problem with not being able to import my bookmarks from iGoogle which seems very strange from such a clever company not to incorporate their own ideas. I have since found a way round it and now have it all working.
What I love about it is its minimal approach to online browsing. I've always seen the minimal design as I framework for a lifestyle that needs no decoration. I am viewing the web for its content and I don't need some bulky browser filling my screen with unnecessary features.
This same concept also applies to Googles new look on the way we use applications. If you use your PC for mainly applications such as word processing, why would you want a bulky and expensive PC? Now with Chrome and the cloud you can run all of your applications from a small, cheap PC or notebook and a broadband connection.
It also means we will soon be able to let go of the horrible operating system Windows which since 95 I have slowly started to loose faith in and go back to the simple and easy style of the 3.1 days just with a new outlook.
I have to admit I have yet to move onto the cloud as much as I could do but already using Chrome, Gmail, iGoogle and Blogger I have started to get a feel for it. My PC is a mess at the moment though and is due a clean and I am considering moving onto the cloud as a way to backup all my mess. Also having the Google experts taking control of my mess seems like a good idea to me.
So in short, I think the whole Googleconcept of the cloud is an exciting new outlook on the way we use our PCs, is one that I am willing to put my faith into and Chrome is a great view for the future.
Every night and day I sit here and think of you Your my obsession they all say I just don't know what to do
I feels like to everyone my thoughts are not clear I just want you to be mine My thooughts of you no longer anyone wants to hear They all think I am wasting my time
I love and care for you with all my pride How can I ever give up the dream Just one more second with you by my side It would be enough to make me gleam
I'm sorry for the way I have behaved Self-centred has been my psychology My mind took over for what it craved And now you deserve an apology
I can't guarantee after this it will be concluded But help I will get for myself to heal My mind so it no longer needs to be deluded That you and I may one day be real
This is my flyer design for the club night Relentless I am running with my friends from JSL Productions. I have now officially been made the Creative Director and will be working on all future flyers. I am currently working on another for our Croydon based Hip Hop and Garage night.
This is the same group of people I am going to Ibiza with from the 23rd September to 7th October. We are a great group of friends who have already spent many nights together enjoying the music that brought us together.
These people have shown me a lot of trust and friendship yet some how I still feel I am holding back after being let down but some one I thought I could trust and some one I thought I would spend the rest of my life with. Its not fair on them after they have shown me to be great friends. I really wish I could get past what happened and feel comfortable again.
I'm sure after spending time with them in Ibiza I will be able to remove that barrier. As much as I am looking forward to all the clubs and DJ's, I am just as much looking forward to watching the sunrise on the beach, all of us together on our first morning there.
I really want to tell them how much I love them all but I think i'm still too scared to feel that way. I just hope in time I can heal.
